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Sanchez
"Get her dirty. She loves it. Take her to a muddy place and perform the first sex intercourse in human history to have a human having sex with a bike. Pop your shit. Get shitty. Woof!" -Description The Maibatsu Sanchez is a bike popular in every GTA games, and yet it's return in GTA 5 did not get popular, being left in a pool of dirt and dust. This bike is great on riding off-road, but too dirt y will cause the bike to spontaneously explode due to the engine clogging up, so don't trust the developers suggesting that this bike is capable at all terrains. Design It's indeed dirty, and that's why this bike is shitty in GTA 5. The design also encourages homosexuality, and it's capable of handling gay men performing gay intercourse on this bike, because of it's durable, long-stretching design. It was Trevor's favorite bike. Performance Slow, shitty, slippery, are what this bike is all about. The brakes of this bike is worsened in GTA 5, causing it to lose popularity, and rendering it useless during races. Also, it explodes after riding on off-road terrains, due to the engine clogging up useless off-road mud. An advice was to never bring it to sand-filled plain dull counties like Blaine County or Paleto Bay. Variants Like the Bati 801RR, this bike was unfortunately spot on and sponsored by various corrupted, wealthy, ignorant, bitchy, money-hungry company douchebags who wanted to promote their shitty products so badly. It's variants are: * Shrewsbury Firearms variant - Sponsored by a shitty unknown company which will never ever sell firearms to Los Santos. * Patriot Beer variant - Sponsored by a shitty beer company which was so patriotic, it was betrayed by it's own countrymen as they slam this company "blatantly, ignorant racist". * Atomic variant - Sponsored by a shitty tire company, always the particular rubber from them that caused spontaneous combustion from vehicles to blimps. * Fort Zancudo variant - Probably made by the military themselves for convenient travels during battles, they totally forgot that this bike is shitty and can't do shit. * Sprunk variant - Sponsored by a shitty, corrupted, wealthy, ignorant, money-hungry company that uses chemicals in almost every item they release, in which their beverages was made from chemicals, nevertheless the bike. Locations * Can be bought for $7,000. * Can be spawned with a cheat code. * Found everywhere near the woods. Grab them before they explode. Trivia * The perverted developers named this bike "Sanchez" and list it as a shitty "dirt bike" for a reason: ** The Sanchez's name, along with the fact that it is a dirt bike, may be a reference to "Dirty Sanchez", which is a slang term for a sex act associated with coprophilia. ** The meaning of coprophilia is, why not you go ask Google for it's meaning. * It is unknown why the company douchebags wanted to advertise on this bike, pertaining to how shitty it is. * The military is even dumber. This bike is the ultimate key to their defeat, since they can't travel properly with it. ** Needless to say, it can't even hold a few rifles, but surprisingly, it can hold up to two gay men. * The description for it pretty much describes Trevor and his annoying love for this bike. * This bike comes by with a ham sandwich, sponsored by Jason Derulo himself. Unfortunately the player can't obtain it, they can only watch it drop to the floor once the engine is started.